In the Silence of the Soul
by Nightshade Shrub
Summary: [YanaYuki, with Yagyuu's appearance] Because it has a successful conclusion and happy conclusions are the number one best sellers of all time.


**Characters:**Yanagi & Yukimura, Yagyuu**  
Prompt: **fanfic50, Table 10, #32 - Return  
**Word Count: **approx. 3800  
**Rating: **PG  
**Summary:** Because it has a successful conclusion; and happy conclusions are the number one best sellers of all time.  
**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but this piece of writing.  
**Notes: **Some (or all) pairings here, you may not like, but I stand my ground. Set in the same universe as **The Finest Irony**, though this one is nine years prior. I suggest reading the other story as well, but this one can stand on its own. For now, it's just me and my crappy proofreading.

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**Beta-ed: ** December 5, 07

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**In the Silence of the Soul **

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It takes Yanagi fifteen minutes to realize, finally, that he's been staring off in space, and there is not one drop of ink upon the clean piece of white paper that is laid out on the plain, wooden desk in front of him. He heaves a heavy sigh and presses his thumb down the ballpoint pen once before setting it down on the desk. He rubs his temples, and it soothes him for a little while, before the throbbing in his head will return. It isn't the painful kind – thank God, no – but it irritates him to no end. Because of it, he's having a hard time finding his muse. 

His manager called him the day before, asking for a dramatic, romantic novel, which would be released in public in nine months' time. Yanagi opts to do it in his spare time, but decided against it after the phone call ended. His manager requested a _happy_ ending of two destined lovers, and Yanagi is obliged to it for him, since he owes Oshitari Yuushi much more than he can ever imagine. Besides, the man is a sap when it comes to romances.

He looks around. Nothing in the his personal room of a spacious two-bedroom apartment he rents dawns a sense of inspiration to his perpetually half-closed eyes, nor is there anything on the creamed-colored walls that injects the usual creativity in his brain. There is nothing but dull posters of random authors that he befriended during his contract with the Tachibana Publishing Co. (run by Tachibana Kippei, of course), alongside his own posters, his placid face contradicting the heartbreaking aura of his numerous tragedy romances that he has written for over three years. There is nothing for him to process as the core of his imagination other than the sole reminder that he is alone.

Perhaps that is why he writes tragedy. He feels that other people should be able to feel the loneliness that he feels, that they should be able to understand why such a man like him, a man more of the potential that he shows, gives off stories of catastrophic endings, and never even thinking twice of his writing. Many complained before, that he is such a lonesome single man and he should find a woman to accompany him and put some laughter in his face. Nevertheless, none of them can deny that his works are masterpieces, and there can never be another writer like him, a person too secluded and emotional that everything just pours out unto the pages.

He stretches on his chair, allowing himself to hear the small sound of bones cracking and crushing against each other. He smiles as he remembers that his sister have always hated that sound, but she does it herself, anyway, so Yanagi didn't – and still doesn't – see what is wrong with it. He remembers her whining about it to his father, who grunts stonily, and his mother, who smiles tenderly. He makes a mental note to visit his parents' house tomorrow, and his sister's new home with her husband on the weekend.

His eyes stray towards a photo on his desk, though he never realizes that it is there until he turns to look. It isn't that old, but the metal frame is rotting and there are specks of dust all over it. He reaches out a hand, trembling because he skipped dinner last night hasn't gotten to his kitchen for breakfast yet, and grabs hold of the framework. He smiles, then. It is the picture taken during Yagyuu's wedding with the beautiful Sekiyama Miku last year, and everyone was there. He looked very young then, comparing to the state of his figure now. Kirihara, whenever he has time to visit, calls him an old man, and he doesn't deny what isn't wrong in the first place.

When he mentions everyone in his head, he means the old tennis Regulars team of Rikkai Fuzoku in his third year at junior high. It is the best team that he ever had the encounter of playing with, and such a team has never occurred on his mind. His smile falters, though not in a saddening way, as he brushes off the dirt that is caught against the glass that protects the picture. He stares at it, memorizing every single detail on every single one of their faces.

Niou is beside the groom, as the best man, his professional smirk in place. Everyone knows that Niou has always loved Yagyuu, and Yagyuu is the same with him, but they are too oblivious to it. It came as a surprise one day when Yagyuu asked Miku to be his bride, but of course, none of them is stupid enough to try to stop him. Yanagi thought of Niou, how he is there for Yagyuu since the beginning. He looks at the bleach-haired youth and sees a sad man who thinks not for his own happiness but for his best friend's, and he thinks that life is cruel indeed.

He knows very well that Niou only accepted the invitation to study abroad to escape from the surge of depression that could have overcome him had he not been invited to study there in the first place. Yanagi knows this, because he sees everything despite not being able to hear the words from Niou himself. Niou is not a man of many words, preferring the motto of '_action speaks louder than words_.' Although in his case, Yanagi realizes that there is no action that can express his true feelings now that there is everything to be feared.

He sees Marui in his tall chef's hat, having been able to establish his own catering business at such a young age, all with the help of Jackal. He seems happy and bubbly as usual in the better light, but Yanagi, having one of the most impeccable observation skills in the group, knew better, and he still does. Marui is lonely without Niou at the moment, his best friend who went overseas for his studies, and now that Jackal has moved back to Brazil, he knows that the redhead is in the verge of despair.

It is the sole reason why he and Yagyuu visit him every time they get the chance. That, and because Yanagi is alone himself, and he knows that he and Marui have at least that small understanding, even though they bicker (or Marui argues, and Yanagi reasons) at almost every encounter.

Sanada is different issue altogether. Yanagi sees him everyday because the man lives two blocks away, and yet, he still haven't _seen_ the life that Sanada lives, though he can somehow predict a lot of it. Sanada is a dutiful son – he does everything his parents tell him, follows without question, and proves his loyalty without fail. He is in love with his responsibility, which is why he completely abandoned Atobe Keigo for the woman that his parents favored, not even bothering to look back. If he did, Yanagi will never know, but he knows that Sanada is not happy with his life, and that much is enough for him to feel pity for the man.

Then, there is Kirihara, who is possibly the only person in their group living in utter bliss. Much to everyone's surprise, he never pursued professional tennis, and when Yanagi asked him once, he said that he might never even join in his lifetime. Rather, he subjects himself in his work as the main coach in Sanada's tennis club, teaching little kids and adults alike the happiness he found that is tennis. He has fully committed himself as a normal person, an average guy helping others instead of hurting them, and a good lover to Tachibana Ann, whom he plans to ask for marriage (although it is a_secret_, and Yanagi is not supposed to tell anyone) in two months.

He still needs a ring, and he is trying to find the _perfect_ one for his _perfect_ love. Yanagi keeps on telling him (in a humorous way that even he does not know he possesses) that no matter how many times he looks, there is nothing in life that is perfect, materially-speaking, and Ann would accepting anything and everything the little seaweed head would give her. Kirihara scoffs at that comment all the time.

His fingers brush against a familiar face in the picture, and he smiles bitterly and amusedly. Not even the tender, old age can suffer to permit Yukimura's radiance to falter, and never once have Yanagi seen it in such a state, not even when he was in the hospital, clinging to his life as if a slave forced to kiss his master's boots. No, Yukimura's beauty is ethereal and everlasting, that wherever he is, there is always a bright star following, guiding, and worshiping him – mind, body, and soul.

Perhaps it is why Yukimura's opponents in the international pro tennis circuit always say in press conferences that Yukimura can defeat any of them with only a dazzle of his smile. Yukimura, who doesn't seem to be pretty much aware of his effect upon many people, will only laugh at their declarations, and most modestly deny it, though his smile that follows that statement will completely contradict his claims. Yanagi smiles at the thought; even after a few years apart from his life in Japan, Yukimura is still the humble, silent, and strongYukimura Seiichi.

His phone rings, and Yanagi puts the photograph back down on his desk. He crosses the room and walks over to his bedside table, flipping his phone open as he picks it up, not even bothering to look at the name on the screen, and says, "Yagyuu-kun."

"Yanagi-kun," Yagyuu drawls with his deep, polite voice. It is a sort of mild surprise to Yanagi, because Yagyuu rarely drawls, unless there is something that he needs, badly, or if it is really Niou talking to him, disguised as Yagyuu. He decides that the former is more authentic than the latter. "It's been a long time."

"Yes, it has been, hasn't it?" he replies in a silky tone, and in his own silent fashion, he asks Yagyuu what he wants. "I would have visited you, and Miku-san, but it seems that I have more than enough of work laid out on my hands for quite a while. Oshitari-san is fairly the demanding type."

"I'm sorry to bother you today, Yanagi-kun," Yagyuu says apologetically.

"It's all right," he answers with a smile tugging his lips. "Is there anything in particular that you want to discuss, Yagyuu?"

"Hai," he says immediately. "Will you be able to go to the café near the theater downtown? The one from across the clothing outlet that Miku always goes to, I think. I need to talk to you in person, and in private," he adds, his voice turning to a more somber tone. Yanagi is intrigued, but knows better than to ask an irrelevant question. "I am already here. Please tell me if you are allowed to go."

"I am," says Yanagi firmly. "If it is that important, then I shall humor you."

"Thank you," replies Yagyuu.

"Hai," says Yanagi, and he hangs up.

Almost at once, he strides towards his closet, pulling out a decent set of clothes and walking inside his bathroom to change. He comes out five minutes later wearing a white polo shirt and blue jeans, and there is a small sign that he combed his hair. He grabs his phone, wallet, keys, and personal pager from Oshitari Yuushi (required due to their work), placing them all in separate pockets, before walking out of his apartment.

The walk downtown is rather amusing, Yanagi thinks, because it has been a while (two weeks, five days, and ten hours) since he had last gone outside of the house to go to some place that is neither work, Sanada's club, nor Atobe Keigo's gym. It is weird, really, that he manages to balance his time to those three places, but has no more time left for anything else. He doesn't think that spending three hours playing tennis with Sanada or the other club members is a waste of time, but he does understand that there are more think that are of higher value than that. He hasn't given up on tennis completely – no, he still loves it – but he is a grown up, and playing freely is no longer an option.

He sees the familiar pair of platinum glasses behind the huge crowds and under the recognizable black and white umbrella, which covers the person's face from the bright glow of the hot summer sun. Yanagi greets Yagyuu with a smile just after a waitress had given Yagyuu his choice of coffee. The former data master declines the inquiry of coffee to himself, and merely asks for a glass of water. The waitress left them in their solitude with a soft smile.

"Is it nice to be able to go out once in a while, Yanagi-kun?" asks Yagyuu, mildly teasing, and Yanagi laughs heartily. Of course, Yagyuu knows, because Yagyuu is one of the three that keeps a regular contact with the writer, the others being Sanada and Kirihara. "You should do it more often; it's fun."

"I think your definition of fun is different from mine, Yagyuu-kun," says Yanagi good-humoredly. "I enjoy the brisk walks towards Sanada's tennis club and the sound of pen scratching against paper. I would assume that yours would be the sound of feet dragging on the floor whilst running and the long drawls of serious, old men?"

They share a laugh, since it's been too long indeed. However, Yagyuu abruptly stops, and Yanagi follows, knowing that Yagyuu has something to say. "Ne, Yanagi-kun, has Yukimura-kun informed you yet?"

"Informed?" asks Yanagi, eyes furrowing a little. "I don't quite follow, Yagyuu-kun."

"He has been calling everyone since this morning, and I would assume that he would call you last," says Yagyuu, vaguely hinting at something that Yanagi has no idea how to get the gist; he dismisses that for the moment. "He will have a press conference two days from now after the ceremony of achieving his second Grand Slam title. After he receives it, he plans to retire and return to Japan."

Yanagi smiles knowingly, though it doesn't reach his eyes. "I expected that from Seiichi. I have never thought of him pushing tennis as his lifetime career, not because he would stop liking it one day, but because there would be things that are more important to him, like his plants. He would more likely want to be a garden designer when he comes back."

"There is one more thing," says Yagyuu, pushing up his glasses as he slips a hand into his blazer's inner pockets. Yanagi waits attentively, but at the same time, looking around the place for something interesting to look at. He finds himself staring at an advertisement about some expensive chocolate on sale, until Yanagi drops something on the table. Yanagi turns to it, and blinks in unvoiced surprise. "Take it, Yanagi-kun."

"What is this?" he asks dubiously, though he knows well what it is as he holds it in his slightly trembling hands. It is a ticket, a slip of paper inked from front to back, with a date, the court number, and his seat number. There is a small map at the back of the ticket, just so he can find himself through the huge crowd of Wimbledon fans. He looks at Yagyuu, who is smiling – a rare sight indeed. "Yagyuu-kun, I cannot accept this, whatever this is. It's –"

"It's a ticket to the Wimbledon," says Yagyuu swiftly. "Yanagi-kun, you've been a very lonely man, and it shows in the literary works that you display. We've read all of it, _all of us_, and we think that it is time for you to face your fears. Don't do anything that would make you regret, but rather take the risk if it meant that you are going to be the happiest person in the world."

"Yagyuu –"

"You love him, don't you?" asks Yagyuu, hitting home. Yanagi looks away, the small, brown ticket sliding from his dry fingers, his attention reverting back to the chocolate poster. "We've know since the beginning, Yanagi-kun, and even Miku has asked me that question before. You are not noticeable, no, but we just know too much about you that we notice even the smallest of things. Yanagi-kun, You love him."

"Yagyuu, I can't –"

"He loves you," Yagyuu cut through his unfinished sentence. "At least, consider. We don't what you hurting yourselves."

For the first time in years, Yanagi opens his half-lidded eyes to _look _truly at Yagyuu. He sees a concerned man, one who is trying to help his friends. He smiles bitterly; he is just like Niou in every way possible, and he wonders if there would be a time for the both of them to realize that they are complete idiots who are too much in love with each other to notice even their own emotions. He thinks of what Sanada would do if he were stuck in Yanagi's situation. And of Kirihara, who has defied Ann's brother just so he can be with the woman he loves.

He thinks of how much trouble he and Yukimura have cost each other through these years. He knows all of these, of course, because he has more than enough years to think about it. It all started when they were in their junior high, and up until today, there are dancing each other, not really talking and not really touching. There is a limit to every action, and that is what Yagyuu is trying to show him. It could have been worse, Yanagi thinks. He could be induced in alcohol as of this moment, and he could have been confessing his undying love to an animal, thinking of him as that certain person who is not there for him at that moment. For now, this is acceptable, no matter how clueless he is of what to do with the matter.

"Thank you," says Yanagi, picking up the ticket and putting it inside his own pocket. "But tell me, how did you –"

"I'm a businessman, Yanagi-kun," says Yagyuu, his smile turning to more than a coy smirk. "It is my expertise to be able to weave through the works and speak the right words. It is easy enough to tell the difference between a bargain and the bribe, though it is hard if you are a woman and you are currently drawn to the voice of the caller who is trying to seduce you for a tennis tournament ticket."

"That much is true," Yanagi agrees.

Suddenly, his phone rings, and Yanagi's eyes widens at the sight of a familiar name in the screen. It only takes one look at Yanagi's frozen form for Yagyuu to realize who it is. He departs solemnly, leaving Yanagi to analyze his thoughts as he stared at the phone's screen. It's been a while since Yukimura has called him, and he doesn't quite know what to do.

Somehow, through his musings, the ringing stops, and he realizes that he is staring at it, but not picking up the call. It rings again, and Yanagi smiles; Yukimura is still persistent. He takes a deep breath, and flips his phone open, saying, "Seiichi."

"Good morning, Renji," says Yukimura brightly. Yanagi notes the slight tremble in his voice and the more than casual tone, and, for the first time, truly understands what Yagyuu is telling him. "Or I believe it is morning there, is it not?"

"It is," he replies. "You might be surprised, but I am actually outside the bubble of my comfort zone." He hears a light laugh, and he chuckles as well. "I am in a café, drinking what I consider tap water, and not really paying attention to list of different coffee on the menu, but on a poster of extremely and satisfyingly expensive chocolate. I believe that says it all."

"Indeed," Yukimura says. Yanagi can hear the sound of cars honking and tires screeching in the background, and deducts that Yukimura is either looking out from the balcony of his condominium that he showed him once in a picture, or sitting at a café himself. "You never fail to surprise me, Renji."

"And you always _dazzle_ me, Seiichi," says Yanagi, only to hear Yukimura laugh again. "It's been a while since you've called me? What made you?"

As expected, there is silence, and Yanagi knows that Yukimura is trying to sort out his words. Yanagi always knows what's coming, of course, but he would like to hear everything from Yukimura. "I am returning to Japan after my second Grand Slam, Renji." Yanagi hear a nervous gulp, but dismisses it. "I am returning for good."

"I see," he replies, knowing but not quite following what to say next. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," says Yukimura firmly. "There are… more important things to me than tennis now."

"Of course," he answers.

"Renji?" says Yukimura after a pregnant pause.

"Hn?"

"If you would allow it, can I stay at your house when I return?" he asks, almost modestly, and Yanagi wonders how long before Yukimura have gained the courage to be able to ask him that. Yukimura has a brave soul, but at times, he is unsure of himself and his actions, and they clash, and he would never know what to do next. At any rate, he is glad he did. "I need a place to stay while I look for my own apartment, and you were my first choice. I've called Marui, but he said…"

"Seiichi," he cuts through Yukimura's monologue, and the man from the other side of the line pays close attention. He sighs – it is now or never. "I want you to stay with me, Seiichi." There is the definitely stillness that he expected, and he thinks that it is better than an apology from him. "Stay with me."

Yukimura is good at reading between the lines, and Yanagi guesses that he have already guessed it even before Yanagi was done. To Yanagi, that single act of boldness will make of break the relationship they have set in for themselves, one that is undefined and fragile, but he thinks, and he knows, that he will get a favorable answer from the man he claims he loves.

"Only if you take me to my favorite sushi restaurant every week, Renji," says Yukimura after a long, awkward pause; Yanagi smiles brightly through his phone, standing up from his seat and leaving the young waitress from earlier a tip. He walks towards the chocolate poster that he has been staring for quite a while, and wonders if Yukimura is still fond of Swiss chocolate like before. "Only if you promise."

_Promise that you will never leave_. Yanagi hears this, despite it being unvoiced, and he makes a promise, verbally and mentally. He would take it and fulfill it, because that is the only way that Yukimura would return to his life once more. In the silence of his soul, he knows that this will be the best romantic novel he will ever write. Because it has a successful conclusion; and happy conclusions are the number one best sellers of all time.

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Notes: This probably doesn't makes sense at all. But if it does, then thank you for reading it ;) Feedback is very much appreciated, because I would like to hear more comments from you guys. Please tell me of the mistakes I made. Ciao! 


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